Savvify

Does your child complain and resist going to extracurricular activities only to have fun once you get them there? Once they are at a fun activity, does your child resist leaving? As a Martial Arts School Owner, I talk to parents about this common problem all the time. They say that their child is difficult to get to class, but love it once they are there. As parents, we worry that our child may be losing interest in the activity. The good news is that this behavior does not necessarily mean that the child doesn’t like the activity. Instead the child is demonstrating a behavior known as “present focus”.

What is present focus?

Present focus is a child becoming focused on a current activity and not wanting to stop in order to start another activity even if they enjoy it. Younger children have difficulty thinking into the future and tend to seek instant gratification. For example, if you offer them a piece of their favorite candy now or a bag of the same candy a week from now. The child will most likely choose the piece now. Children lack the impulse control of adults, therefore, an important part of parenting is becoming the child’s impulse control until they create good habits and make good decisions. Remember that the child may love their extracurricular activity, but still display the present focused behavior. Over my years of teaching, I discovered many effective techniques to help parents refocus children, in order to get them into class.

Tips to Combat Present Focus

1. Remind them. Remind them about their extracurricular activity early in the day. Children easily forget their activity schedule and resist activities that they are not mentally prepared for.
2. Talk positively. Talk to them positively about the extracurricular activity. Build an image in their minds about how much fun they have at the activity.
3. Build excitement. Practice before leaving for the activity at home (play catch with a baseball, dribble a basketball, or kick around a soccer ball). This helps get your child excited about going and puts them in the right mindset.
4. Limit highly stimulating activities. Don’t let your child play their favorite video game or other activities that cause resistance to leaving right before the extracurricular activity. Have your child perform less stimulating activities like eating dinner or finishing homework instead.
5. Change at the extracurricular activity. For kids, getting ready for extracurricular activity becomes a major sticking point. Make the barrier low to get into the car by grabbing their uniform and changing at the extracurricular activity, if possible.
6. Get a Friend involved. Children love hanging out with friends. If their friends are in the same activities, they are more likely to stay committed too.
7. Be involved yourself. Volunteer time by coaching or in the case of karate join the classes too and lead by example. Children model their parent’s behavior. We always say that “Families who workout together, stay together.”
8. Take Earlier Classes. Look for an extracurricular activity that has classes right after school. Instead of settling in at home and attempting to uproot your child, opt for an earlier class or activity, if available.By applying these tips, you can combat the present focus behavior in your child so that getting them to extracurricular activities is easier and less stressful, and you’re guaranteed to reap all the benefits that these activities have to offer your child.

Tim Rosanelli
www.maximpactkarate.com
http://timrosanelli.blogspot.com
http://milliondollarbusinessquest.blogspot.com/

The habits of saving and investing are two of the most important ones we can cultivate in our own lives and then instill in our children.Doing so successfully can result in economically viable families. Failing to inculcate these interwoven habits often yields multi-generational poverty.

Whether you have children yet or not, paying attention to the simple principles in this article and launching out to deeper study will prove profitable.

The Chinese have a belief that it is almost impossible for a family to retain wealth across three distinct generations. This phenomenon is so well established across cultures and continents that the Americans have long had their own aphorism for this sad and disturbing human tendency: “Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.”

One of the main reasons the global economy has literally exploded in size and vibrancy throughout the 20th century and into our own 21st is the creation of credit purchases.

This pretty much began with the nascent automobile industry in the United States. Once people realised they didn’t need to save the full sum to buy a car, millions more were able to purchase a ‘horseless carriage’. This rapidly led to the widespread paving of roads, the adoption of John Boyd Dunlop’s pneumatic tyre technology to reduce the bumpiness of rides, the rise of John Davison Rockefeller, Sr., and a whole new industry linked to the accelerated pumping of black gold out of the bowels of the Earth, and a proliferation of unrelated businesses that realised offering easy credit expanded the capacity of wage earners to buy more and more and more of their ’stuff’!

Fast forward to our brave, new world!

With the marriage of sophisticated advertising and marketing initiatives to powerful global media organisations, it has become increasingly difficult to simply drift into the good habits of saving and investing. Concerted effort is required.

If you need proof, consider this:

The gap between the world’s haves and have-nots is widening at a frightening rate. According to data released by the United Nations, in the year 1900 the wealth controlled by the world’s richest 20% was 10 times more than that possessed by the world’s poorest 20%. By 1950, that 10:1 ratio had ballooned to 30:1. By 2000, it was 75:1.

For the benefit of my speaking, writing and consulting clients, several years ago I ran a simple regression analysis that suggests that if the trend continues, the world is going to reach the frightening state of having a 100:1 rich-poor ratio on May 1st 2045. Many of us will be alive then, as will most of our kids. Which side of this GREAT ECONOMIC DIVIDE will you inhabit? More appropriately, which side will you CHOOSE to inhabit?

We already see the awful effects of global society’s fabric unravelling and fraying at the seams as this untenable situation grows worse each passing day.

The real question you must ask yourself is are you going to continue down the path of wealth diminishment that the bulk of humanity is speedily skating down?

Or are you going to proactively ensure both you and your children (and hopefully even your grandchildren) absorb potent ancient and modern lessons about saving and investing that can increase your odds of joining the ranks of life’s winners?

Do these Things to Release Dynamic Energy:

1. Set some goal for yourself that you are trying to achieve.

Make that goal big enough so that it will excite your imagination and arouse tremendous interest. Your energies will rise in proportion to the needs you have. If you have a goal to make only fifty dollars a week, it is not a very inspiring goal. If you push that goal and set a figure such as two hundred and fifty dollars a week, instantly your subconscious mind will release the dynamic energy and the dynamic ideas to make it possible to achieve the larger sum.

2. Have some person or persons in your life that you are trying to help. This can be your own mate, your children, your mother and father; whatever it is that you are trying to do for others unselfishly will automatically give you greater energy and more stamina to endure and persist. If you live just for yourself, it is unlikely that you will have more than just enough life-force to exist. Florence Nightingale was the first woman in history to go out into battle to help nurse soldiers. She freed womankind from the restrictions of their sex, and created a new and honorable profession for women. This frail woman was so inspired by her desire to help the sick, that it gave her tremendous energy and vitality.

3. Find work that you really enjoy doing.And if you happen to be in work you despise get out of it as soon as possible. Nothing will so quickly lower the curve of energy as being in work you detest. It has even been known to make some people chronically sick because they are constantly frustrated. This restricts the glandular action of the body and depresses the body organs. But if you are in work you love, your body cells sing with joy and health and energy, they are stimulated, so that you constantly feel good.

4. Have hobbies that give you pleasure as well as relaxation. Dynamic energy is created when your mind is interested in doing something. It is vitally important that you have avocations as well as a vocation. The moments you give to painting, writing poetry or stories, modeling in clay, stamp collecting, rug weaving or whatever hobby you indulge, are moments well spent, for they will serve to release energy which will make your regular work easier and less boring.

5. If you are not already in love with someone, fall in love as quickly as you can.Nothing helps release dynamic energy so quickly and potently as being in love. Science is now aware of the importance of this powerful emotion in our lives. Children thrive and are healthy when loved. When denied love they are sickly and lacking in energy and interest.

6. Set daily goals for yourself that you are trying to achieve.

If you are a salesman, set a certain number of sales. If an author, set a certain number of pages you wish to write. If a student, a certain course of study which you do regularly. It has been found that the mind responds to the challenge of direct suggestion. If you know you are going to play eighteen holes of golf, the body and brain see to it that the necessary energy and drive are created to carry you through that course. If a prize fighter builds himself up mentally to take on a certain opponent, his body will release the energy to carry him into that ring facing formidable opposition. As you achieve these small goals at first, keep raising the level of your goal, until you have reached a high peak of energy and achievement.

7. Each day, when you start your activities, say a series of suggestions that will be energy-boosters to your subconscious mind.

Here are a few you might memorize and repeat every day when you feel the need of inspiration or greater mental or physical energy.

• I am strong and healthy.
• I can accomplish anything I desire.
• I am young and vital, and my body now responds with new energy and vitality to do all my tasks today.
• I am happy, happy, happy.
• I find joy in my work and my life sparkles with interest and happiness.
• I have faith in myself, my work and my destiny.
• I now extend this faith to the entire world.
• I am successful, well-liked, and attract friends to myself.
• I now radiate confidence, poise and inner power.
• I love everyone I meet, and they will in turn love me.
• I am rich as any millionaire; with gifts of mental and physical health, free estates of parks, and the golden gifts of friendship, love, peace, happiness and beauty.

Whenever you feel tired or discouraged, or your energy is low, just stop whatever you are doing, breathe deeply for ten or fifteen times, say all of the above energy-boosters, and really mean them, then you will see how quickly your mind recovers its sharpness, and your body becomes filled with new energy and vitality.

“The measure of your success usually comes down to who wins the battle that rages between the two of you. The ‘you’ who wants to stop, give up, or take it easy, and the ‘you’ who chooses to beat back that which would stand in the way of your success — complacency.” – Chris Widener

In all my interactions with people, I’ve never found anyone, regardless of their level of success, who doesn’t sometimes find themselves simply not wanting to do the things that they need and want to do. It is a part of human nature that there will be times that, in spite of all that we need to do, and even desire to, we will find ourselves not wanting to do anything. And what separates those who will become successful from those who will maintain the status quo, is the ability at those very crucial moments of time when we are making decisions about what we will do, to choose to find the inner motivation that will enable us to conquer our complacency and move on in action.

I find that I confront this issue in my life on a regular basis, so the following success strategies are not merely pie in the sky techniques, but proven ways to get yourself to go even when you don’t feel like doing anything.

Honestly evaluate whether or not you need a break. This is the first thing that I usually do when I find that I don’t want to get to a specific action. The fact is that oftentimes we will have been working very hard, and the lethargy we are feeling is really our body and emotions telling us that we simply need a break. And this is where it takes real intellectual honesty because when we don’t need a break, our mind is still telling us we need a break! But sometimes we do need a break. I’ll give you a good example. I don’t particularly like to exercise, but I do almost every day. Sometimes, I find myself before going to the club thinking about how I just didn’t feel like going. Most of the time I am just being lazy. However, sometimes I realize that my body needs a break. So from time to time I will take a one- or two-day break from working out. The benefits of this are two-fold: One, my body gets a break to regenerate itself. Two, after a day or two, I begin to miss my workout, and eagerly anticipate a turning to the gym. Other examples: Perhaps you are a salesman who has been phoning clients for a week straight, day and night. You wake up one morning and just don’t feel like doing it any more. Well, take a break for the morning. Go to a coffee shop and read the paper. Go to the driving range and hit some golf balls. Take a break and then get back to it!

Start small. I’m at a point in my workout schedule now where a typical workout day for me consists of 30 to 45 minutes of aerobic exercise, and about 30 minutes of weight lifting. So when I find myself not wanting to get up and go to the gym, I will sometimes make a commitment to go and just do a smaller workout. Instead of deciding not to go, I’ll commit to doing 15 to 20 minutes of aerobic exercise and 15 to 30 minutes of weight lifting. This is also good for two reasons. One, I actually get some exercise that day. And two, it keeps me from getting into a cycle of giving up when I don’t feel like moving toward action. Other examples: Maybe you are a writer who simply doesn’t want to write today. Instead of the long day writing you had planned, decide that you will at least outline a couple of new articles. You will at least get these done, and you may have found that you put yourself into the writing mood after all.

Change your routine. I have found that what keeps me in the best shape and burns the most calories for me is to do 30 to 45 minutes on the treadmill every day. Now let me be very blunt. I find running on the treadmill to be extremely boring. Usually I can get myself to do it, but sometimes I need to vary my routine. So instead of 30 to 45 minutes on a treadmill, I will break down my aerobic exercise routine into a number of different areas. I will do 10 to 15 minutes on the treadmill, 10 to 15 minutes on the reclining cycle, 5 to 10 minutes on the rowing machine, 5 to 10 minutes on the stair stepper, and then back on to the treadmill for five to 10 minutes. I still get my exercise, but I’m bored a lot less. Other examples: Maybe you are in construction and you have been working on the plumbing for a week, and it is getting monotonous. Don’t do the plumbing today! Go frame-in the office.

Reward yourself. One way that I motivate myself to do something when I don’t feel like doing it is to tell myself that if I get through the work that I need to, I will give myself a little reward. For instance, I may tell myself if I to get up and go to the club, I can take five to 10 minutes off my treadmill exercise, which will shorten my workout routine, and I’ll allow myself to sit in the hot tub for a few extra minutes. Hey, it works! Other examples: Maybe you are a mortgage broker who feels like sleeping in. Tell yourself that after the next three mortgages you close, you will take your kids to the fair or your spouse to the movies. Maybe you’ll give yourself a night on the town with old friends.

Reconnect the action with pleasure rather than pain. Psychologists have long told us that we humans tend to connect every action with either pleasure or pain. Tony Robbins has popularized this even further in the last few years with something he calls Neural Associations. That is, we connect every action with either a pleasure or pain. When we are finding ourselves lacking motivation, what we are probably finding about ourselves is that we are associating the action that we are thinking about with pain, rather than pleasure. For instance, when I’m considering not going to the health club on any given day, I am usually associating going and working out with having no time, the pain of exercising and weight lifting, or the boringness of running on a treadmill for an extended period of time. What I can do to re-associate is to remind myself that by going in and doing my exercise, I will feel better about myself, I will lose weight, and I will live longer. This brings me pleasure. When we begin to run those kinds of tapes through our minds, we find our internal motivating force unleashed and changing our attitude about the action that we are considering. Other examples: Maybe you are a counselor who really doesn’t want to spend the day listening to people. Your association may be that it will be boring, or that you will be inside while it is sunny outside. Instead, re-associate yourself to the truth of the matter: Someone will be better off because of your care and concern. Think of your clients and the progression they have been making recently and how you have been a part of that.

Give these ideas a try and see if you don’t find yourself pushing through into action!

Every love affair has it’s lifetime. This that as long as it has a start it has a finish. Some relationships last to the end of partners lifetime, some die soon after they started.

Love may start as the strongest passion but time passes and the storm of emotions calms down, relationships once so bright and full of surprises become routine. It drags on for a while and than comes crisis. A couple can either survive through it or fall apart.

Even when the love is gone it’s always hard to realise that you have to quit something once so good. There’s no certain way to decrease the sad feelings about falling apart. You may only try to stay civilised people about it and to let the one who’s leaving do it without making up grandiose scandals and hysterics.

Although some think that it’s better to stay enemies than friends because than you will have nothing to regret about and won’t execute meaningless attempts to get things back. But is it so right to ruin all the memories about the happy time two people have spent together with ugly scenes screaming and blaming each other in the worst sins?

It’s over when it’s over and sometimes it’s obvious that all is over. Two people scream and shout one at the other almost everyday, they have nothing to talk about and if they do every conversation turns into a quarrel, one finds faults with everything the other does, they both simply annoy each other. That’s definitely the end.

The question is where the love’s gone. Nobody knows it. Maybe they’ve been spending too much time together and finally have started to bore each other. Maybe he has stopped telling her about his love and she has stopped feeling it. Maybe time has made the illusions disappear and the reality has turned to be not what they both expected. Maybe there was only passion and after it’s gone nothing has left. There can be plenty of those maybes. Every misfortune has it’s own face. It may even be that nothing is over but people need to take a little rest one from the other or try to diversify their relationships. In fact when each one of a couple is willing to fight to make love stay they’ll find the way to do it.

The real tragedy is when one still feels the love but the other is bored and wants to leave. If the feeling is really gone no tricks will help to keep the partner, sooner or later he or she will finally leave and those few more weeks together won’t make you happier. The only thing you can really do in this case is to try to get over him/her as soon as possible. That misery will pass as the happiness did.

Sometimes (and it specially refers to women) a man looses his interest to a woman because she has given up her job, interests, friends and etc. in order to become the part of his life, to be everything he needs. He doesn’t have to conquer her no more, she has stopped being a personality with her own life that he had once fallen in love with. If fact this is one of the general mistakes people do. They get too comfortable and stop fighting for each others love. And than when a partner starts packing bags they wonder where did I go wrong.

But still in very many cases lost love isn’t anyone’s fault. It is just the way things go. We should never stop believing that next time the feeling will be real and will finally last to the very end. We have no limit of times that we can fall in love and so although it’s sad to loose love, each time we do we should try to look at it as on the chance to find a new better one.

The Ancient Greeks already described “mania” as one of the forms of love. It’s an obsessive, ecstatic and long-lasting love. It usually exaggerates the meaning and the importance of the feeling. Very often it leads to strong emotional shocks and dramas. It seeks for the total possession and control over partner, although it can be heroic and self-sacrificing. “Mania” stays very strong even when it has no reciprocity, it can be blindly faithful. Nowadays this form of love exists but in has become less dramatic.Love addiction is when we say I love him/her too much, I can’t let him/her go, it’ when we are ready to suffer, see our love being abused but still ready to forgive everything because of a terrible fear to loose the one we love.

Some people get adducted to love as the other get addicted to drugs or alcohol. It’s when their partner becomes the centre and the meaning of their whole life, when his or life becomes their life and everything they turn to do is to satisfy their partner’s need and to solve his/her problem. Work, friends, hobbies, personal interests – nothing of that matter for a love addicted person more. And in the basics of it all lays not the love but the fear that can take it’s roots in early childhood when a future love addict didn’t get enough love and attention and now he/she’s trying to fill that space being very scared to return to that loneliness of a child.

In this “mania” relationships there’s very often nothing left to call love, these relationships don’t bring comfort, pleasure and support as they’re supposed to do, but only pain and sufferings. And love addicts may even realise it but the don’t have strength to leave. An addicted to love person is ready to do almost everything if it can be necessary or useful to his/her partner. There is nothing too expensive, unpleasant or taking too much time if it make him/her happy.
These love addicts can be very nervous and depressive, also they are willing to gain total control over the partner. The reason is that they aren’t enough self-confidence and those possessive relationship can be an attempt to prove they are worth something.

Most of all love addicts are scared that the relationship will be ruined because it seems that won’t be able to live without their partner so they are ready to bear selfishness, indifference, cruelty, disgrace. More other those possessed with love try to convince themselves that all this “minuses” are temporary and that their partner is just having hard time at the moment, but after it’s over he/she will se everything that has been done for them and will turn to be very thankful.
Love addicts also may think thanks to their childhood that such sick relations with an indifferent partner is the only they are worth. They may ignore all the good people around them that are willing to give their love and attention.

By the way it’s women who suffer from love addiction more than men. Addictive men usually become obsessed with their job or hobby. The worst variant is drugs and alcohol. And the addictive women usually choose such men as a cross to berry.

The only way to get rid of such a love addiction is to fight all the fears and to quit that obsessive and destructive relationships, to prove yourself that you’re worth much more. Relationships are never supposed to be a one-way street, love is giving but normally it gets much in return. The problem is that the love addiction can be a very serious problem repeating from one relationships to the other so that a person isn’t even able to solve it without professional help.

Theoretically first love can happen in any age or not happen at all. But most people had fallen in love for the first time when they were teenagers. That exciting new experience most of us remember very well during all our life. For an adult his/her own high school problems and the problems of their children seem very funny, silly and simple especially compared with all the difficulties of adult life. Somehow we forget how tragic and full of drama life and relationships were than in our adolescence.Than a teenager falls in love and it happens for the first time he/she feels all it’s ups and downs for the first time either. In that age we mostly enjoy ourselves and study the new emotions inside than show much interest for the inner world of our first boy/girlfriend.

Once we start to show interest to the persons of the other sex and a little later instinctively choose our first love. The relationships between two sexes will interest and trouble us during all our future life but these first steps are always the most difficult and for some of us turn to be very painful. Teenager has a growing and changing body that he/she hasn’t started to understand yet and a delicate soul which is so easy to hurt.

Adults very often don’t take this first affection for serious, they may laugh at it, preach, tell their children that they are too young to really feel anything, that his or her object isn’t a good pair for him or her, they may try obey them stop seeing their boy/girlfriend. This is all very wrong. No one can stop anybody from falling in love especially when it’s so beckoning with the novelty. Wise adults can only try to support their young comrade to pass this complicated with the least wounds and hurt. The feelings of adolescents are as changeable as their mood. So the first love usually goes very soon after it comes. The mission of people around is to show that it’s not the end of world and that a teenager is not alone, that there still stay people who love him/her and in their love he/her can’t be sure. The first love is only the first lesson to learn but it like Alphabet stays in the basic of the whole future relationships of a human.

Very often we cherish these memories a lot, sometimes idealise them, remember the first love as something very innocent and fragile. If something went wrong than some people may have some problems with starting new relationships, they may even achieve come serious complexes that will be spoiling their relationships all the time.
But there’s no such low that tells we all fall in love for the first time in our adolescence if not with our coevals, than with our favourite teaches, famous actors and pop-stars. Yes, teenagers searching an ideal love object in the real life and not finding it there can turn to TV-screen heroes, or persons who are elder and seem wiser and more experienced when the people of the same with them age. Of cause most adults don’t take these kid’s falling for them too serious. It passes as does the hysterical passion for the pop-stars. But still some people don’t fall in love at this age of first love at all, they have some boy/girlfriends in order not to differ from others, to satisfy curiosity and a booty call, they may really like the coevals they have relationships with, but still it nothing serious. For those people their first love may come later, and the feeling will be the same new and surprising for them as for the teenagers. But Bernard Show said that if you haven’t fallen in love till you’re forty you already shouldn’t do it after.